So, the plain truth is that I am a student of Breadloaf School of English which is administered out of Middlebury College in Vermont. A prestigious college and program, actually, but NOT affiliated with Lincoln College and Oxford University, with the exception that they host our school in the summers, the director is also a don at Lincoln, and several of the professors are Oxford University "Fellows." All this is a prelude to the situation I feel suddenly compelled to describe. It is so amazing to be here and Lincoln is a beautiful college with lovely people. Every so often, however, they make you aware that you are still a visitor and not part of the club. Case in point, my unbearable room when I first arrived at Breadloaf. Apparently the College (note the capital "C") had two weddings of - I can only assume - two "fellows" or some such association with the College (I can only assume, since I can't imagine they prostitute their facilities for the common riffraff) planned for the first two Saturdays in August - today being the second one. They also had a couple of weekend invites or events or some such for which they were providing rooms for other College associates and/or "Fellows" (our Assistant to the Director calls it "Old Boys' Club Weekends"). Therefore, when the Breadloaf people arrived to set up for the summer, they were shorted about 10 promised rooms and had to scramble and accept some fairly appalling accommodations. The only reason it eventually worked out for me and a few others who were able to "upgrade" as it were (though, still not the most ideal room as I will explain in a mo) was through the unfortuate circumstances of a few students withdraw from the program this summer. Pretty dodgy, if you ask me, and rather shabbily done of the college, as well.
Now to the subject of weddings. Last Saturday was part of the "big push" weekend in our program, where everyone - and I mean EVERYONE - was working on their final papers and projects. The atmosphere was pretty charged and stressed out. And, much to everyone's delight and approbation, an enormous group of giggling bridesmaids (there were around six to eight of just THEM!) and a bunch of wedding guests descended. And took up all available space and oxygen (I am still speechless that the rooms they occupied had remained empty all this time just for one or two events.... or maybe not so speechless.). I have the amazing good fortune to be in the only student "dorm" room on a floor of what are called "Fellows Guest Rooms" - basically very nice rooms reserved for Lincoln College Fellows or invited guests to stay.... Or, apparently, whole, vast, noisy, squawking wedding parties. Who come in like locusts and clog the halls. Who begin their shenanigans early Saturday morning, when I have been up late Friday night writing a paper, and who speak and cackle loudly until 2 p.m. while I try to continue said paper. Finally, the bride - who, by the way, fulfilled one of those fairytale dealies: totally plain girl looking absolutely stunning AND with exquisite taste in bridesmaid dresses they actually could wear again to a very fancy dress occasion - and her entourage, all looking smashing in British-style tuxes, top hats and canes, left in a horse drawn carriage for the church.
Blessed silence. An hour later, a rock band started tuning instruments in our quad. I cannot express the incongruity of having a band with a horrifyingly bad, screechy female lead, running through some of the shameful secrets of the music top 40 canon from about 20 years ago (none seeming particularly suited to a wedding, anyway), echoing around the walls of a 600-year-old quad. Our program offices were "informed" that there "might" be a "string quartet" that would be somewhat disturbing for a few hours in the afternoon. This was a rock band that rehearsed for an hour and played for two very long, very worn hours. Oh the lies said with such polite deference! (Of course, at our last Deep Hall gathering this past week, the college paid for a few round of pints to apologize. Fat lot of good it did ME!)
During this day of wonders, here's little ol' me in my room trying to type with my headphones in and iPod blasting. I didn't go elsewhere, because our library is in the original cathedral of the college about 50 feet from the festivities and I knew I'd be able to hear it all there. I didn't want to drag all my stuff into the Bodleian library - mainly because I kept trusting that it would end sometime soon, please oh please, Powers-that-be!
Blissfully, the painful pre-dinner band ended and the party used our dining hall, which IS a stunning place for a banquet, I must say (Actually this was the only advantage to the entire day, since we were given money that in theory would have been used for OUR dinner and were able to actually go and eat something that wasn't deep-fried and covered in brown gravy or deep-fried and covered in cream). The all-day wedding extravaganza then took their show down into Deep Hall which is our College pub, and which just so happens to be underneath the wing that my room is on. A theme is developing here, no?
However, I was able to get a large amount of my paper written, anyway, and then went to bed. And was awakened every 20 minutes or so by slamming doors and loud laughter coming in and out of my hall until 2:30 a.m. Bitter? Who, me?
Therefore, no one could possibly imagine my joy when the doors in my hall began slamming repeatedly, beginning at 7 a.m. today. And the loud talking. And the giggling. Thankfully, I am mostly packed and my class is over. I leave tomorrow with Sarah for Dublin.
And, the evil gargoyle inside me is gleefully rubbing its hands together as the rain is just pouring down outside. I take this as a good sign that another horrifying top 40 cover band won't be rocking out the Breadloaf graduation this afternoon. As for getting some sleep before I have to get up at 6 a.m. to get to the airport? Who needs it?
